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In honor of the holiday season, I’m starting a new campaign. Let’s not be tired anymore! This slogan started as a joke with a co-worker when we were discussing how to evaluate a patient who was “tired”. We thought for a minute and then realized that everyone we knew—friends, family, coworkers, patients and ourselves—were frequently complaining about being tired. Perhaps that complaint is a constant of the human condition. My mom’s doctor gave her the diagnosis of “Chronic Fatigue Syndrome”. This is usually a diagnosis given to younger people who have debilitating fatigue. My mom is 90 with heart disease and is the primary caretaker for my dad who is 94. She has reasons to be tired. I imagine all her doctor’s patients carry such a diagnosis.

Despite an occasional night of sleeplessness, I’ve decided to feel good and be full energy. Maybe we can all brainwash ourselves into feeling better or at the very least, recognize the days we feel good!

After the hearing test at their physical, I hear parents and children joking–ok, so you CAN hear me. I usually counter with the fact that we are only checking hearing. Listening is a very different skill.

I can remember watching TV as a child and hearing my mom talk to me from the kitchen. I began listening when her voice hit a certain pitch.

While co-teaching a class on parenting, the psychologist said that the BEST kids only do what they are told 75% of the time. And then I thought, “I can’t do what I’m told to do 75% of the time.”

The next time you are feeling frustrated with your children ask them to repeat what you just asked them to do. Then you can be sure that they both heard and listened to you. Of course, don’t be surprised when they later ask you to do the same. Parenting often provides a perfect mirror.

Hangry is a combination for the words and emotions caused by being hungry and angry. It is very common in toddlers— and in the parents of toddlers.

We’ve all looked at a child having a temper tantrum and thought “that is just how I feel”. Whenever we are tired or hungry—or sometimes in need of warm shower– we are more likely to get angry with the people nearest us who are frequently our children.

It is important to understand our own needs so that we can be better parents.

Whenever you find yourself screaming or mad, stop and think.

Are you hungry? Are you thirsty? Do you need to sit for a minute and take a few deep breathes? If you are any of these things it is a good chance that your child is experiencing these stresses as well. Get something to drink or eat. Sit for a minute and take a few deep breathes.

Remember that one of the cardinal rules of good parenting is to feed and water the PARENT and the child.

As school begins, I have a message from all teachers—“Help your child get the sleep they need to succeed in school!” Many children are falling asleep sitting in their chairs.

Summer is a time when sleep cycles shift and schedules are more relaxed. As school starts, regular bedtimes need to begin again to ensure that your child is in a position to learn and succeed.

Children less than one year old should sleep 12-16 hours a day (including naps).

Children 1-3 should sleep 11-14 hours a day including naps.

Children ages 3-5 should sleep 10 to13 hours a day.

Children ages 6-12 should sleep 9 to 12 hours a day.

Teenagers need 8-10 hours of sleep a day.

Many families of young children need to re-think their bedtime routine. Letting your young child stay up late because they cry when put to bed is not being “nice”. Late bedtimes are frequently just easier for the parents. But if your child is tired at school he’s the one that suffers.

Bedtime, including a bath, should take about an hour and should include a book read. After that your child should be comfortable in their room without any electronics except a lamp.

I officially went “off duty” at 9 p.m. My children knew that if they were bothering me after that they should be bleeding or barfing. That rule is still one of our family’s favorite jokes.

In gardening the term “volunteers” refers to plants which self-seed and thus come back each year on a “volunteer” basis. This is a great situation for many desirable plants. I have had good luck with some flowers coming up along my pond and it makes me think of parenting techniques.

There are all kinds of successful parenting styles: democratic, authoritarian, laissez-fare or easy going. To some degree your parenting will be based on your personality and your rearing. But sometimes your best parenting will just happen by itself.

Dr. Karl Pillemer is gerontologist who has spent the last several years talking and writing about advice from people in their seventh decade or older. One of his key insights is that you should look for a “maven”—an expert or source of wisdom. This would be a person you admire and would like to be like. Their advice can help you achieve your goals.

When I was pregnant with my first child, I found such a “maven unit” and their advice helped me be a very successful parent. I looked at all the different family units of our coworkers. Some parents barked out orders and then fought with each other or their children when the orders were not followed. Some parents seem to plead with their children to do the “right” thing or say the correct thank you. One family seemed to work incredibly well. On many family decisions, everyone’s preferences were considered but the parents generally made the decision if the family members could not agree. I asked this family which child rearing philosophy they used. The parents said that they liked Richard Dreikur’s Children the Challenge. I found the underlying theme of that book incredibly helpful in approaching my parenting years. Dr. Driekurs wrote during the early 1960’s when the hippie and antiwar movement upset many people. He spoke about my generation as demanding more voice in the government and in the family decisions. He recommended helping children learn that their actions have consequences. His approach to parenting fathered many subsequent manuals such as Systematic Training for Effective Parenting, or S.T.E.P., and Parenting with Love and Logic. I highly recommend these 2 systems whenever you’re struggling with either your toddler or your teenager.

Spring and Easter are here. Whether you live in the city, suburbs or country, everyone thinks about this season—and most of us get the urge to plant something. With children it is a great time to get the old Dixie cup and put e soil in it with a bean—and watch it grow in a few weeks.

Here in the Rocky Mountain Region we can get an urge to plant before it makes any sense–we will have freezes and snow for another 2 months. But in many parts of the country and the world it is a great time to plant and even harvest. Parents can use this time to talk about where the vegetables we buy at the store come from. I love having big maps penned to the wall to talk about where our oranges come from. I found that my 5-year-old grandson could sustain interest in where he is now, where he has been and where our food comes from. It’s a great way to improve our own geographic knowledge of an increasingly small world.