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Come See Me at SHHS Craft Fair, Saturday November 7th, East Gym, 9-4, 16100 E Smoky Hill Rd!

Big News!

“Alec and the Sandman” was just published on Amazon.com and is available there and on Kindle. The book is a fun story about Alec learning to go to bed and stay in his room. The Sandman is a very helpful fellow in that process. It has a story for the children with great illustrations and some helpful sleep hints for parents. Check it out!

Having recently spent spring break with my 6-year-old grandson, I was struck by how often, we tell our younger children to quiet down, turn down the noise or go to another room. It is an appropriate reaction to the constant noise and activity of a young person who frequently likes to do all his tasks–playing, using electronics, or exploring his world– very close and very loud to wherever we are.
It seems that this lesson finally sinks in by the time the child is a teenager. One of the most frequent complaints I hear from parents is that their teenager just stays in her room—doesn’t interact or spend time with the family. Patterns that we learn when we are young stay with us in subtle ways.
Think of that fact the next time your young child is driving you nuts. Embrace the chaos.

“Seeing the color of tree bark (it really does have pink in it!)”
One of the most important lessons that I learned in high school was during an art class when my instructor asked me to really look at the color in the tree bark. He made me realize that despite my pre-conceived notions that bark was brown and gray, there really is pink in it. Sometimes when I would really stop and look at my children I would see them differently–not as I imagined them but as they were trying to tell me whom they were. Listening to my 3 year old son ask me “who is sleeping here” while I struggled to clean a flower bed, I realized that the phrases and words that I take for granted had a different meaning to him. I told him that the tulips were sleeping there but would awaken soon. The next time he asked me a question I couldn’t understand I “listened” again to our conversation and understood his point of view better.

Happy New Year!

(An interesting fact about early childhood memories)
Well, we have started and New Year and put 2014 into the part of brain that holds memories. How is memory stored? What memories will our children have of the Holidays of 2014? There is a lot of new information about childhood memories. In 1910 Freud introduced the term “Childhood amnesia” to describe what most people experience which is a lack of memories before the age of 3 or 4y. Scientists initially thought that the brain had just put those memories into hard to reach places but now it seems that the brain has not stored them. A 3 year old can accurately recall events that happened at 2 but the same child at age 5 can’t recall what happened before 3 or 4. It seems that the brain “overwrites” those memories. This phenomenon is described in the Christmas classic “The Polar Express”. Our earliest memories might not be retained but the feelings associated with those memories do influence who we become. If the people around us during the holidays are enjoying themselves and enjoying us, we retain a good feeling about the holidays even if we forget the details and even if we are very young. So truly, laugh more and stress less as we start a New Year.

One of the best thing about the holidays is all memories we have of past family events. Most of our memories are the warm and fuzzy kind but sometimes holiday memories can be painful. What we do know about memories is that the ones that survive have strong emotions attached to them.

As you think about your Christmases past, think about what activities made you happy. Several years ago we gave up doing a big family dinner on Christmas day. We now celebrate with quiche and crepes and lasagna–made on a different day. This way we have more time for the activities we like and remember fondly–family walks and basketball and opening our presents.

One of the best ways to promote thankfulness in our children is for them to see us being thankful for our own blessings. It is easy to get excited about Christmas and gifts. Thanksgiving is a great opportunity to be actively thankful for we already have. Michael Lewis, author of MoneyBall, said the best way to raise your children is to be the person you what your children to be. They, like all of us, learn from example more than anything else.
Happy Thanksgiving!

As we enter the “Hal-Thank-Mas” season life gets very busy! It is important to remember to actually listen to our children and not just herd them from event to event. Ask them what they remember liking from other holiday seasons. What would they most like to do next. Some of my children’s favorite memories are toasting pumpkin seeds–not carving the pumpkin.

Since Thanksgiving is a holiday centered around food I think it is important that every person contribute a dish–at least from the ages of 2 and up. Over the years some of the dishes have gotten really tasty and everyone has better memories of the holiday–especially the main chef!

Hallow Eve is upon us! Welcome all of our Imaginary Friends. Hallow Eve or Halloween happens the day before All Saints’ Day in the Catholic Church and many protestant denominations. In the US Halloween is a time for parties and candy.

There are different approaches to helping our children handle their sudden abundance of candy. Some parents carefully dole out the sweets. Others take a more laid back approach. I generally told my children that too much candy at one time could give them a stomachache and then let them decide what to do–only intervening when someone was clearly making themselves sick. I did stress careful brushing of their teeth during this time. I like to think of this as good time to learn about actions and consequences.

Whatever your approach, enjoy the day! As Garfield says–It is his favorite holiday!

Thirty years ago I finished my pediatric residency and had my first child. I started pediatrics and parenting at the same time. Since then I have had many opportunities to practice both skills and have learned many valuable lessons from the parents I’ve helped and the peers I have worked with.

In searching for a way to share this knowledge I thought about writing a parenting book. However as a parent, I found if really hard to find time to read parenting books. The concept for the unicorn books came to me in a dream—hard to turn that down!